When I started meditating I couldn't even sit still for three minutes. I fidgeted and felt things crawling on me. I thought of all the to do's I had that day and then thought of all the things that stressed me out. I kept thinking about it over and over and over again.
The thoughts looped over and over and over and over and then I thought wow that thought is a really big thought and why am I having this thought. It must be an even bigger thought and bigger deal than I originally thought. Looping.
Lopp. Loop. Loop.
Thinking about something like, "my nose is itchy." The more you think about it the more it itches. The more it itches the more you think something is seriously wrong and that's exactly what stress is like. But like someone near and dear to me said, "Honey, just sit through it. Sit your ass down and sit through it - all the way through it, girl."
Meditation is sitting.
Meditation is sitting through your shit. Meditation is sitting through your grief. Meditation is sitting through scenario A, B, and C. Meditation is looking at it and then pulling yourself back to present moment. The present. The right here and now. The one that just left as you read this or think this.
My friend told me that if a person can actually be in the present for a full 9-12 minutes they have mastered it. Even the gurus are not in the present moment for more than a blip on the radar. (Hint: That's why they meditate.)
Meditation is the practice of the process - not the end game. The outcome of the practice is getting real with reality, synchronicity, noticing synchronicity, getting real with what is, and then bliss in living with what is.
Some advocate that meditation is chasing the kundalini up into the upper chakras.
Fifth, sixth, and seventh- authentic voice, third eye, and communion with Higher Self/ the Universe...and getting a super high from that energetic surge.
You can't get to fifth, sixth, and seventh without going through fourth-the heart...LOVE...and to get to the heart you gotta get real. You have to check out first, second, and third- grounding the foundation, creativity and sexuality/personal power, and who you are in the world. Because to give love and be love you have to see love in you. You are love. It's all about you. It's your story, your perception, your reality, and you, my dear, are the creator of it all.
Have you ever thought that may be that blissful look you see on that "New Age" guru is the look of being high-not real-high?
So many in the field of holistic arts and healing and let me just say even some yogis out there make you feel like a pile of shit because it's all rosy and blissful in their world...you think. They go on and on about opening up the heart, opening up the third eye and welcoming the angels and guides.
Are you kidding me right now?
I'm just trying to keep from scratching my nose.
I'm just trying to keep from jumping out of my skin.
I'm just trying to not go through my list of things to do.
And, I'm really just trying not to replay the story of my favorite movies that I have saved in my own personal hard drive called my mind of everything and everyone that ever hurt me or that I hurt, or the things I did or didn't do, or the path I took or didn't take.
This is what I'm thinking at the time. And guess what? That, my dear, is meditation.
I'm not trying to poo poo all that bliss and incense and sage burning and chanting.
Really I'm not. (well maybe just a little because seeing it makes everyone else feel less than.)
What I'm saying is that while that is the ultimate outcome for some, it isn't the practice.
When was the last time you saw the Dalai Lama looking stoned?
He looks clear eyed and present...not glassy eyed and high. He looks happy not stoned.
What I'm saying is that the practice of meditation is just that...a practice.
Sit you ass down and just sit.
Sit through the hurt and let it drift off when the anger can't be held onto any longer. Sit.
Meditation is sitting in the lower chakras. First, second, and third - which once understood and felt leads you to fourth...the opening of the heart-your love for yourself, for others, and for the world you are in right now and once you really, really, really feel that you are in the stress-free zone because you will truly know that the Universe has your back, that there is a grand plan and purpose and that you are an integral part of it. You'll know the next step in the plan...not the whole plan but you'll trust that your next step is the step on that path that unfolds your purpose.
Stress is not a mood. Stress is fear that no one has your back.
"So while you may think of stress as a mood that you sometimes go through, the fact is that it is having very negative physical effects on your body. Or to put it plainer, stress will make you physically sick. And eventually kill you." Russell Simmons, Success Through Stillness
The antidote...meditation...it does a body good. xo, j