Let's remember to LOVE. This week I really couldn't get the shootings out of my head. One of the things that struck me most was that the internal terrorists were veterans having served in Iraq and Afghanistan. No excuse. I honor our police officers and I am horrified about what is happening right now. An attack on our law enforcement is an attack on America just as any other terrorist attack.
This ambush of police is tragic and horrific.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs that the commonality of the shootings at schools like the one at Sandy Hook, movie theaters like in Colorado, churches, drivers driving while Black, abortion clinics, gay clubs like the one in Orlando, office places like the one in San Bernardino, promenades in Nice, cafes in Paris, airports like the one in in Turkey, military recruitment centers like the ones in Tennessee, and police officers ambushed and killed in cities across America is...PTSB (this is not a typo I mean B not D). We can easily say it is the radicalized Muslim, the radical Right Winger, the Pro Life radical, the radical Neo Black Panther (with supposed ties to the Muslim Brotherhood), the paranoid-overly-trigger-happy police officer who's adrenaline is pumping (and who just knows this guy's a thug - and he may be). We keep talking about the religious affiliation, color, creed, and ideology.
We keep talking about the surface issues and I want to get down to the nitty gritty depths of this.
And to me its LOVE, the ability to give and receive love unabashedly, without shame, and with full vulnerability. The very opposite of love is fear and baby, we're living in the midst of FEAR. This fear of The Other, of different, of as my dear friend says...of the "elephant in the room, the secrets," this fear is creating a mass PTS not D - for Disorder - but B - for Biofeedback reaction. I've decided it's B for biofeedback. Because what goes in goes out. It has to. So when you fill yourself with fear it comes out as fear. And the one thing the "lone shooter" has in common is that they are alone.
They are full of fear.
They are mentally unstable. They are all terrorists. They are outsiders looking in on society and with social media and video games they have found a home, a home where fear resides and barbarianism is admired.
The National Institute for Mental Health defines Biofeedback as a treatment technique in which people are trained to improve their health using signals from their own bodies. Physical therapists use biofeedback to help stroke victims regain movement in paralyzed muscles. Psychologists use it to help tense and anxious clients learn to relax. Specialists in many fields use biofeedback to help their patients cope with pain.
I believe that these folks have found their own biofeedback loop and that their personalized technique involves going back to their training. Soldiers will be soldiers, video gamers will take virtual reality and make it their reality, and those longing for the good ole days of the Deep South, their fantasy of what their childhood should have been like, their version of Mecca, Heaven, or Nirvana (come on we all know a few Vegan radicals, or holier-than-thou New Ager, right?) and they apply this personalized and highly individualized treatment program to alleviate the pain and to dive into the fear. Remember fear is a gateway, a guidepost to change and those who want things unchanged or changed back to the way it was will not breakthrough fear. Fear is their comfort zone. Fear is the fluffy down comforter. Fear is where the training comes back.
Post - Traumatic - Stress - Biofeedback
The problem and the solution. In every problem there lies the solution.
I know PTSB having lived through Hell and back with someone who for all intents and purposes looked and acted completely normal...until he didn't and became a human ticking time bomb, ready at any moment to blow up our lives. And he could. He was a highly trained combat warrior. He had had SEAL training, training where they drop you off somewhere in the middle of the woods with a compass and a knife and you work your way home. Tactical training. Cyber attack and warfare training. Surveillance training. How-to-kill-a-man-with-your-bare-hands training. SCUBA training. TOP GUN training. Train the trainer training.
So I ask you what happens when all that training turns in on yourself?
When you lose the balance what do you learn?
Go back to your training. Your muscles know what to do. Your neurons are primed and ready.
And what if the enemy now resides with you?
What if The Other is right here?
What if you no longer see reality and only see the training?
Bio - feed - back.
The lives we had built, the lives I was insisting on framing out the additions on even while the foundation was crumbling all around me was no longer a reality.
He went back to his training and I went back to mine. Fight and if you can't fight run. Run like a mother fucker and don't look back.
Light the torch and burn the place down.
I know this state of the world and it is Mass Post Traumatic Stress Biofeedback and the treatment is in the constant reinforcement of the belief. There is something really opening up for right now and I am questioning and reevaluating everything I know and have as a vision.
I look clearly into my own life and I wonder:
I wonder if I'm doing enough, being enough, and acting in congruence with my beliefs.
I wonder if my beliefs are sound and if I would know it if they weren't.
And...I'm wondering if anyone else is wondering.
Ok. So now that I have released the elephant in the room. What are you wondering?
What I know is we need love and we have the capacity to give and receive love. So let's love each other and venture out from our comfort zones.