I live with Spirit (who I like to call Goddess). Seriously! I do. And I've found it's the only way to live. She and I work together. Well, actually she whispers in my ear and I have learned to listen. She has taught me how to step into my body and understand the clues. She shows me signs on my walks and I notice.
I used to plan out my life. Every moment, every event, every outcome was meticulously planned out and here's the deal. My ability to plan is...fabulous - my ability to carry out the plan and for the plan to actually work...horrible. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Just think of every time you met someone new and as it gets serious the five to ten plus year plan that pops into your head that you just know you have to follow through on.
It's the plan that gets us. We plan and plan and ignore all the signs that tell us the plan isn't working. And then we plan some more.
So then after ever plan failed. After looking at my past and seeing one train wreck after another where plans were "too big to fail." I got so fed up I almost killed myself. And then I thought. Killing myself will just be another plan that I have to then relive and repair in the next karmic cycle. So that's not even going to work. Plus I couldn't think of a way where I was 100% sure it would work or that it wouldn't leave a mess. I admit it. I have been to the dark side and I'm here to tell the story. It's all on me - the failed plans - the not noticing - and the deciding I can do better than Spirit. And then she came to me. I was crying (super ugly crying) my eyes out and feeling so alone and miserable and I caught a glimpse of her. She was just sitting there watching me. And she let me cry and then I felt her speak to me in my heart. That this was enough. What if I gave up and surrendered my plan to Her and offered myself up as a conduit of Her work.
Super duper crazy. Who does that? Jesus...Oh yeah, Jesus did! Mary Magdalene (and wrote a gospel about love). Joan of Ark did, Mother Theresa did. Even regular people like you and me can.
We can give up on our plan and offer our lives up to Spirit.
Yes - in the beginning because we want to have a plan and know how the plan unfolds and live in the plan and regret the plan.
I say, "Wipe you ass on the plan and start living in Spirit - NOW.
Crazy. No. So what's the plan? Offer yourself up to Spirit/God/ The Goddess/Whatever as long as it's better and higher up than you think you are.
How did I get to Florida? She whispered Jupiter. And not before she told me to wait and wait and wait for an answer of what to do next in my marriage and in my life. And then in waiting...and tearing my hair out waiting.
And then waiting a little more the answer came. Not the plan, the one step into the blueprint of my life and I trust that She is guiding me into the right place and space.
What do I have to do?
Offer up my time in meditation for awareness, offer up desire to move when I want to make a move and trust the process, create a daily mindset that gets adjusted and readjusted by changing my perception of how old stories are played out and my role in them and changing them up and giving up on the plan and then setting my intention-my true desire of what's in my heart, and sticking with a practice-a daily practice of discipline and voila...the magic.
She is here.
Go call her from deep within yourself. xoxo