I used to think that life was all about climbing the ladder to success, that working harder and longer was the only way to go to get there, and that loving my life was something I fit into the weekends.
I used to think eating had nothing to do with my mood, that weight gain and loss had no emotional connections, and that I had to follow a diet - the stricter the better.
I used to think that others' moods were personal affronts to me, that their behaviors were part of my story line, and that my thoughts had no effect on reality.
I used to think that meditation had to be done sitting down in lotus position, that it was all about making my mind blank, and that if I didn't do it just right it didn't count.
I used to think that if something didn't go my way it was my bad luck or that the universe was out to get me, and that I was doomed to be unlucky, lonely, unsatisfied and unhappy.
And then I woke up - not right away, mind you. It took a while because I have a really thick head - no, really, I do! It didn't make sense that life could be easy, magical, blissful and that I could manifest my dreams.
How could the Universe, God, Nature, actually have my back?
How could letting go and offering up myself to the clues and hints I began to notice have any relevance to my day-to-day life?
Let me tell you a little story. I was sitting on my covered porch of my million dollar house - how it happened is another wild and mystical story - on the Long Island Sound drinking a glass of wine and thinking I was really really sad. I had manifested my vision board into reality through a series of coincidences and yet, I was super unhappy. My wasband (the father of my children) had died the Christmas before and the husband I had was golfing, or shopping, or working. The point was I was alone in my marriage - all alone. And while I left my wasband for the safety of my children, I always somehow thought he would get better and that me leaving would be THE wake up call he needed to pull himself together for the sake of our children and for me.
Something was seriously missing in my life. During one of my attempts at meditating more than five minutes at a time I heard - in my soul - it's time to go. I followed the advice of the voice in my soul even though I had no idea where it would lead me and one morning when my husband was talking about refinancing I saw my wasband standing right behind my husband wearing his flight suit and with his arms crossed like he always did and shaking his head. Then a flock of black birds descended on my front lawn and let out a racket, sounding eerily like 'no, no, no. So I said nothing but knew I would not be signing papers for a refinance - until the time was right. And the timing would be based on a signal from the Other Side and from the Universe herself.
Ok. You may be thinking. I cannot read anymore of this because she is totally crazy. I assure you I am not - well, maybe not. I may be but I'll take my chances living like this.
Needless to say I followed the guidance shown to me by natural signals, messages, and at times apparitions. And I came away in the private overheard words of my now ex, "virtually unscathed." He meant it for him and his finances but I felt the exact same way.
The scariest part of my journey has been to offer up my life to the Universe and to follow the touchstones she shows me. I don't get to see the 'how' in her master plan for me. I get to notice a little clue at a time, like Hans and Grete's breadcrumbs. And like their breadcrumbs they have to be noticed before the birds eat them up. The bird isn't going to sit there for days pecking at your window trying to get your attention. Likewise the song you hear that seems to be telling you what is next will only play a couple of times.
For a year now I've been trying to synthesize my philosophy of four phases meant to open you up to living a life you love.
The Four 'M's are Mindfulness, Movement, Mindset, and Manifesting
Mindfulness: The Awareness
Instilling focus, clarity, and presence giving you the framework to reach the dreams that well up inside you. This is all about living consciously every day in every way. Deciding on a minute by minute basis if what you are doing, eating, saying, thinking, wishing, dreaming matches up with what your values are. This is about aligning who you want to be with who you actually are. And guess what? They may not line up and that's ok - for now. The key is to course correct and to follow your own rules on what your life means to you, not the rules of third grade, your parents, friends, society, coworkers, your inner critic. If you're a vegan and you crave an egg eat the egg. This may turn some people's self righteous stomaches but I'm being real. So I've labeled myself a chegan - a cheating vegan and I am so ok with that. I am conscious about my choices and I will accept the results.
Movement: The Process
Deepening the relationship with yourself in the present moment for a sense of calm and well-being. While you may be thinking that movement is all about actually moving your body I'm talking here about movement as the process of evolving, growing, and expanding closer to who you know you are and who you see yourself as if nothing were in your way. Little jumps, my grasshopper.
Mindset: The Intention
Creating the space for a total alignment of thoughts, words, and actions sustainably, while maintaining the thought patterns that make your aspirations realizations and make your realizations manifestations. What we say and what we do and how we think create the space for a tomorrow that is very real. We create tomorrow. Think about it this way: Steve Jobs thought up the iPhone before it became the iPhone. Thoughts become reality.
Manifesting: The Magic
Developing the daily practices to strengthen intuition, make an offering of commitment to the dream you have being realized (remember - we don't get to choose the how or even the what it looks like when it's real. We get to manifest the intention of what we want our life to look like and since we tend to think small, it's a good idea to leave the details up to Her - Big Momma Universe.
Together these four 'M's are designed to open you up (WIDE OPEN) to live in a life you love living. I have to say that the daily practice is how the dots connect and the magic unfolds. My life is a testament to life unfolding magically through transition, heartbreak, resistance and then finally offering it up to something, Someone greater than me. Try it. Just remember you can't unlearn what you learn. xo, j