“To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature. Most persons do not see the sun. At least they have a very superficial seeing. The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and heart of the child. The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The other day, I was warned by someone near and dear to me that a dear friend may be infatuated in me. My thought was, "So what? And then it went to why are we so concerned? Why is sexuality always assumed to be mixed in with love and friendship? Ahh! The dreaded label.
Labels are a way for us to define and categorize this as this or that and not this or that. It’s a comparison but is it truth? What we see as the labels of woman or man, or gay or straight, or married or single, or rich or poor are not true indicators of who we actually are. They are labels and most of the time placed on us to ensure that we stay as “the other.”
Labels are limiting and repressive and I for one am completely over it. I’m over that driving a Volvo makes me a soccer mom, over that wearing perfume, over the top jewelry, and expensive hand crafted purses makes me a gold digger, over that being divorced makes me a coyote or better yet a husband stealer. Lock your husbands away!
Here’s a little secret: if I wanted a husband I would have kept mine. I don’t. I really don’t want an over 40, slightly paunchy, overworked husband. Just kidding, I’m sure he’s great. They all are. But really, I don’t.
And I am over defining myself as a straight, gay, or bi woman. I’m a woman and only because I self-define myself as a woman. I am comfortable with my boobs and vajaja. Although as one of the London wives said, “These boobs should have been balls.” When explaining how gutsy she is. Mine should have been balls!
As Emerson so eloquently says, “The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood.” Inwardly and outwardly, I am in alignment, for the most part. I’m a work in progress but I like the progress so far.
I speak my truth, even if some don’t want to hear it.
I am fortunate and I speak that truth every morning as an affirmation of my gratitude. So many are stuck with the outside world not recognizing the person they have been hiding on the inside. I am in awe of those that stand up and decided to tell the world that they are now going to have their inside person match their outside person. Brava Caitlin Jenner. And now the question out there is, “Is she straight, gay, or bi? I say who the f*ck cares! She is now integrated and we were blessed enough to witness the unveiling of her true self.
We should all be so brave.
As I was watching the show I could clearly see that she is Caitlin, really and truly. She isn’t and probably never was Bruce - that awkward guy who was so mousy around Kris Kardashian.
And so, a label is just that, a label. I was just reading about Maria Bello, who wrote the book, Whatever … Love Is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves, in a June 5th Advocate article titled, Maria Bello is not gay or bi, she’s ‘whatever.’ You know who Maria Bello is. She’s from Coyote Ugly, remember? The article starts off with, ““The actress…is a rare breed; she eschews labels but speaks honestly and openly about the woman she loves… In the book, Bello asks herself a series of questions, including: “Am I a partner?” “Am I a Catholic?” “Am I a humanitarian?” “Am I a feminist?” “Am I LGBT or W?” The W stands for “whatever,” which grew out of Bello’s conversation with her son, Jackson, in which she told him she had fallen in love with her best friend, Clare Munn. Jackson, age 12 at the time, responded, “Whatever, love is love.”” In her book Maria encourages us to explore our own labels and to ask ourselves which ones still ring true and which ones are ready for the loufah.
I ask myself that as I continue to explore my truth and carry the conversation forward about labels. What does it means to be “whatever?” What does it mean to be a partner or in partnership? And what does it mean to love? Love is love. Love is vulnerability. Love is truth. So I say…"whatever"...with the label. I'm over it!