Argh, Mercury In Retrograde (MIR) was truly the bitch that stays at your house, complains and never, ever wants to leave. But, Hallelujah, MIC has left the building. But while she is a super duper antagonizing bitch, she is also something else altogether. She is the Kali of truth seeking and inner reflection. Ahh, Kali the Hindu goddess associated with empowerment or Shakti and Shakti, meaning power, is primordial cosmic energy. Kali is the goddess of Time, Change, Power, and Destruction. Being in the midst of MIC taught me some stuff about Time, Change, Power, and Destruction in myself and in my reality. Here are the 4 life lessons I learned through this agonizing process:
1. Time is your friend but if you try to speed her up she rebels and can easily become your #1 enemy especially if you are running from yourself
I felt that time was my enemy because I was being told in meditation and in every moment of every day to slow down and to wait. Why? I can see that slowing down forced me to go inward and see what I have not wanted to see for some time. I was talking to my peer coach and after discussing MIC and time I suddenly remembered going to Torremolinos, Spain (pictured) with my mother, grandmother and godfather (yes, I actually had a godfather like in the movies). It had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation at hand, or so I thought. But it did. I remembered going every winter and spending the whole winter there, no snow, no coats, just freedom. My day was spent playing in the sand, laying on the edge of land and surf, and drawing and painting in my room or on the huge antique and threadbare Turkish rug. I saw the little girl who was in her bliss, who didn’t care about what others thought, who didn’t compare herself to others, and who was wrapped in luxurious surroundings that showed their wear and tear, their history and story. I was enmeshed in an eclectic bohemian lifestyle and I loved it. I was happy and I was fully present.
And then it hit me. I have been trying to fit into the mold of what I thought everyone considered normal. I thought I had shed that but in this reflection period see that I haven’t completely. My gypsy, jetsetting upbringing made me who I am today and it is time to not only embrace it like I have by leaving everything I feel is fake behind but to live it every day in every moment and be present.
Being fully present means honoring yourself to feel all emotions and let them flow through you. Hello…I even wrote that in my book so I guess I needed another reminder. Time is my enemy only when I am not present, present in my emotions, self-doubt, self-judgment, but also in my joy, laughter, relief, and purpose. It is time to honor that and run to myself no matter what. So we eat dinner at 8:30pm or 9:00pm, so I make decisions based on intuition and messages from the universe, so I value and honor the notion of luxury for your soul and so I make a living unconventionally. I am unconventional…what else could I do but be authentic to that.
2. Change is a the only constant and is the guidepost to growth
This is a ball buster of the highest order. As much as I love change, I want it on my own personal terms and on my personal timeline (see above). So sitting here waiting to be able to activate the changes I have already acknowledged means there is a deeper change that needs to happen. Yes, I got divorced to honor the truth in me. Yes, I moved to Florida to live every day the way I want to instead of only living it for two weeks in Aruba. Yes, I clarified my work to embrace the fact that this work of the soul is a luxury and well worth it. And yes, I know that as much as I change there is always more to come.
3. Power comes from within only and you already have all you need
My best friend in the whole entire big wide world and universe is my higher future self. She’s got it going on. She’s been where I am and she knows the path. She is the divine in me and I am divine. I am a fractal of the whole. I am everything and I am nothing and for that I need to be humble and brave, patient and active, self-valued and self-respected. No one else can give us that but others can hold the lantern. This is not a solo job and it is also not a team effort. Get it??
4. Destruction is a requirement for rebirth
Wow, here we go. Something has to die for something to live. Something has to end for something to begin and that something is inevitably in us. Our constructs of ourselves need to be completely dismantled and reassembled and then we have to step into it for real, not just one foot, both feet, not just half assed but whole heartedly. The inside has to match the outside and the outside has to match the inside. If your world is changing on the inside it will reflect on the outside and if it doesn’t line up, it will be disrupted.
This is what MIR does…she forces Time, Change, Power, and Destruction all for the purpose of Rebirth and Rejuvenation (my version of R & R). So who’s up for some R & R with me? xoxo, j