What does conscious mean?


I googled the word and what came up was “aware of one’s existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.; fully aware of or sensitive to something (often followed by of); having the mental faculties fully active; known to oneself, felt; aware of what one is doing; aware of oneself; and, deliberate, intentional.”


To me it means that and to having thoughts that are controlled as to whether to take them on as an action. And that to me is freedom. I have the word "freedom" tatooed on the back of my neck as a reminder that I am free and that freedom is the most important journey I am on. I think back to my DNA heritage and my mother's ancestors were healers and "witches" and the huntsman for French aristocracy. They were Huguenots and persecuted for their beliefs that men are free. Then you have my father's ancestors who were African brought to the Dominican carrying their trade of healing, shamans, and blacksmiths then came to America and intermarried with Cherokee and Scottish landowners. Quite the mix-and all valuing freedom. I thought about writing conscious but to be free is to be conscious.


Conscious doesn’t mean living in la-la-land of a pseudo-enlightened existence (I’ll get into that bullshit in a minute). It's not easy to be free and conscious but I will say and I think my clients can attest it sure makes life more magical and empowering! First here’s an example I gave one of my dearest clients. If you’re driving down the street and someone does something cray cray. You have a choice. At times I've decided at that moment that it was so very worth it-that it made me feel really good at that moment to flip them off. I decided with all the consciousness I could muster that lower ‘me’ had a right (and of course my permission) to come out and play.


I’ve also decided more times than not that waving and smiling or even doing nothing but observing the situation makes me feel even better and now I do it even more often once I noticed that when I flipped them off I hit every red light and I no longer had my magical parking karma-which is priceless!!! So more and more I don’t let these triggers and distractions come into my bubble. And my bubble is me in my body aware and awake You have to tune out the noise to tune into you.


Now back to the pseudo-enlightened existence. You know what I’m talking about. The person that no matter what you say to them they smile or nod or go into a dialogue about how they float above such mundane issues and go into their higher chakras. I’m calling bullshit on it. I’ve come to realize that living in la-la-fairy-land while here on this third dimensional plane is just not grounded. I was one of those people (for a super short time-but I was one of them) Nothing against it. It’s a lovely place to be but for the most part you’re not in your body. In fact you may not actually be here on earth.


And maybe that’s why a lot of those types have financial challenges and relationship gaps that could use some bridging. I know I needed some grounding. The female side (as signified by my left side) needed grounding. I don’t think it’s any accident that I broke my left ankle twice in three places. My body was screaming, “Pay attention. Stand on Terra Firma.”


So if living in happy zenned-out bliss is not the answer (at least not my answer), what does it mean to consciously live your life?


Integration, baby, integration. Integrate the lower you into the higher you. One is not better than the other. There are times that lower you needs to come out kicking and screaming or at least honor that it can. Accept its capabilities. Honor its ability to bust through rules and muster the fight in the fight-flight-freeze pattern. And then do what I do…give it a big kiss, laugh that when you observe its potential it is the personification of Kali the Destoyer or as my peer coach said the other day, the de-constructor. It is built to disrupt.


Now, what if you can train yourself to bring it forward only when that is the result you want or bring it forward as a marker of a situation that you need to look at and learn from. What if you flipped it?


Once we understand, acknowledge, accept, and embrace both sides of us: dark and light, low and high, destroyer and creator we can understand the deepest core of who we are and we can understand why we want what we want. We can also understand why when the lower part of us is unleashed unconsciously we have been ignoring a lesson and ignoring a pattern that really wants to be smashed.


We can explode the patterns keeping us stagnant, making us want to run, and convincing us that we are victims in an unfair world. Yes, the world is unfair but who said it was supposed to be fair. We all come in naked and vulnerable and with imprints from other lives and we all leave naked and hopefully transparent and having broken out of old karmic patterns.


Enlightened is being awake, being aware of our environment and being in our bodies, not in some OBE (out of body experience) world. We built our own boundaries and we un-or-subconsciously keep them in play through storytelling and reliving the story so we can tell it again.


Wake up and get in your body. It’s your own path you chose to walk so walk it consciously with passion, power, and purpose.