Does This Path Have A Heart?

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Does This Path Have A Heart?

Don Juan, the Shaman, in Carlos Castenada's book, The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, tells Carlos to:

"Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself and yourself alone one question. The question is one that only a very old man asks. My benefactor told me about it once when I was young and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understands it. I will tell you what it is: Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use."

Does this path of yours have a heart?

Does this path fulfill your purpose?

Does this path make your heart sing?

Would you be on this path even if no one paid you?

These questions are not something that others can answer for you. No one can tell you what to do. No one can make the choice for you.

In Jack Kornfield's book, A Path With Heart, he writes that after being a monk in Tibet and Thailand for years he returned to the U.S. and realized that while he thought he was to be living in the upper chakras of complete mindfulness, deep connection to the divine through chanting and meditation, and separating himself from his body, actually what was needed was not striving to be in spirituality but to be more rooted in spirituality, and 'being' necessitates living more deeply in the lower chakras.

To 'be' requires being more earthly. It is most beneficial when integrating the lower chakras of connection to source-earth, connection to oneself, and connection to others through oneself. Jack states, "...If any meditation was useful to them (them, being the ones who he visited in the mental hospital as they were typically living solely inside their heads-this is sometimes true for us), it would be one that was earthy and grounded: yoga, gardening, tai chi, active practices that could connect them to their bodies."Jack continues to explain that to move out of your head and into your heart with your body intact, you meditate by doing, you ground. And to move out of fear into your heart, you meditate.

Both are meditations, the former fusing body and mind so that the heart can open, the latter fusing heart and mind to that the body can feel the messages from the heart.

"To open deeply, as genuine spiritual life requires, we need tremendous courage and strength, a kind of warrior spirit. But the place for this warrior strength is in the heart. We need energy, commitment, and courage not to run from our life nor to cover it over with any philosophy-material or spiritual. We need a warrior's heart that let's us face our lives directly, our pains and limitations, our joys and possibilities. This courage allows us to include every aspect of life in our spiritual practice: our bodies, our families, our society, politics, the earth's ecology, art, education. Only then can spirituality be truly integrated into our lives." ~Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart

So it's time to ask yourself: "This path I'm on, does this path have a heart?"

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Meditation: It Does a Body Good


Meditation: It Does a Body Good

When I started meditating I couldn't even sit still for three minutes. I fidgeted and felt things crawling on me. I thought of all the to do's I had that day and then thought of all the things that stressed me out. I kept thinking about it over and over and over again.

The thoughts looped over and over and over and over and then I thought wow that thought is a really big thought and why am I having this thought. It must be an even bigger thought and bigger deal than I originally thought. Looping.

Lopp. Loop. Loop.

Thinking about something like, "my nose is itchy." The more you think about it the more it itches. The more it itches the more you think something is seriously wrong and that's exactly what stress is like. But like someone near and dear to me said, "Honey, just sit through it. Sit your ass down and sit through it - all the way through it, girl."

Meditation is sitting.

Meditation is sitting through your shit. Meditation is sitting through your grief. Meditation is sitting through scenario A, B, and C. Meditation is looking at it and then pulling yourself back to present moment. The present. The right here and now. The one that just left as you read this or think this.

My friend told me that if a person can actually be in the present for a full 9-12 minutes they have mastered it. Even the gurus are not in the present moment for more than a blip on the radar. (Hint: That's why they meditate.)

Meditation is the practice of the process - not the end game. The outcome of the practice is getting real with reality, synchronicity, noticing synchronicity, getting real with what is, and then bliss in living with what is.

Some advocate that meditation is chasing the kundalini up into the upper chakras.

Fifth, sixth, and seventh- authentic voice, third eye, and communion with Higher Self/ the Universe...and getting a super high from that energetic surge.

You can't get to fifth, sixth, and seventh without going through fourth-the heart...LOVE...and to get to the heart you gotta get real. You have to check out first, second, and third- grounding the foundation, creativity and sexuality/personal power, and who you are in the world. Because to give love and be love you have to see love in you. You are love. It's all about you. It's your story, your perception, your reality, and you, my dear, are the creator of it all.

Have you ever thought that may be that blissful look you see on that "New Age" guru is the look of being high-not real-high?

So many in the field of holistic arts and healing and let me just say even some yogis out there make you feel like a pile of shit because it's all rosy and blissful in their think. They go on and on about opening up the heart, opening up the third eye and welcoming the angels and guides.

Are you kidding me right now?

I'm just trying to keep from scratching my nose.

I'm just trying to keep from jumping out of my skin.

I'm just trying to not go through my list of things to do.

And, I'm really just trying not to replay the story of my favorite movies that I have saved in my own personal hard drive called my mind of everything and everyone that ever hurt me or that I hurt, or the things I did or didn't do, or the path I took or didn't take.

This is what I'm thinking at the time. And guess what? That, my dear, is meditation.

I'm not trying to poo poo all that bliss and incense and sage burning and chanting.

Really I'm not. (well maybe just a little because seeing it makes everyone else feel less than.)

What I'm saying is that while that is the ultimate outcome for some, it isn't the practice.

When was the last time you saw the Dalai Lama looking stoned?

He looks clear eyed and present...not glassy eyed and high. He looks happy not stoned.

What I'm saying is that the practice of meditation is just that...a practice.

Sit you ass down and just sit.

Sit through the hurt and let it drift off when the anger can't be held onto any longer. Sit.

Meditation is sitting in the lower chakras. First, second, and third - which once understood and felt leads you to fourth...the opening of the heart-your love for yourself, for others, and for the world you are in right now and once you really, really, really feel that you are in the stress-free zone because you will truly know that the Universe has your back, that there is a grand plan and purpose and that you are an integral part of it. You'll know the next step in the plan...not the whole plan but you'll trust that your next step is the step on that path that unfolds your purpose.

Stress is not a mood. Stress is fear that no one has your back.

"So while you may think of stress as a mood that you sometimes go through, the fact is that it is having very negative physical effects on your body. Or to put it plainer, stress will make you physically sick. And eventually kill you." Russell Simmons, Success Through Stillness

The does a body good. xo, j


Coming Out


Coming Out

I'm coming out. I'm a psychic and a shaman. I always have been and I've never felt really comfortable coming out about it.

  1. What will people say?
  2. How will people I know act?
  3. Will the mask, when uncovered be missed?
  4. Will I want to go back in?

The answers are:

  1. Some will laugh and snigger, some will be amazed, and most will say what took you so long.
  2. They will embrace me and if they don't they don't know all.
  3. Yes...and no. When I'm being absolutely real with myself, I'll know. And the warning to others: once off it can't come back on so'll know it's on. You'll be looking at yourself interacting in that fake way and inside you'll say, ok, just cut the bullshit already. Get real. I can't even watch this anymore. The other thing that happens is that the things, people, places, and relationships you thought, actually, hoped was real, may drift away or in may have to be de-created, dismantled, released, or just fire bombed, your choice.

I'm coming out.

I've gotten real with who I am. I know that like everyone else, I can sense the energy around me, in me and in you. I know I can see past past, past, present, and future simultaneously. I know that Einstein was right. Time is bendable. I know I can manifest what needs to come to me.


I wait. I listen. I observe. I wait some more. I act when prompted. I act. I don't react. I respond.

I practice. Daily. I practice. Through frustration, impatience, wishful thinking, day dreaming, pain, pleasure, desire, regrets, I practice. Daily.

And my practice consists of sitting still for 30 minutes to an hour. It consists of managing where my thoughts go. I notice the looping and I notice when I'm not. I notice authenticity in me and others. I call out bullshit on myself and in some cases in others. I practice.

I am a psychic and a shaman.

I know that by writing this you may feel strong enough to come out too. Come out. Come out and play. 


Feel Alive-Body Language 101


Feel Alive-Body Language 101

Lissa Rankin, M.D. Is one of those doctors that if I were the type I would bow down to and instead I feel compelled to bow to her resonance-her ability to touch a nerve-one that needs touching.

Lissa's story is an interesting one. I won't go into the minutia rather I'll paint it with a broad brush. Her life took a turn as she says she was a career M.D. and realized almost overnight that it's not just what you eat, it's how you think.

Healing and thought go hand in hand. Lissa found that those who ate amazingly healthy and have more sress and more looping thoughts have more health issues than those who are junk food and lived in the moment. Lissa found two questions:

1) what do you think might lie at the root of your illness

2) what does you body need in order to heals

and by asking them clients opened up and realized that bodies don't lie. Transformation is held in the body and memories are held in their perceptions. And while bodies don't lie perception do.

In the recent Tomes Magazine article, "Can you think Yourself Well?" Dr. Rankin had a quote about the mind/body connection and remedy. She states, "the body doesn't fuel how we live our lives, Instead, it's a mirror of how we live our lives."

we have the tools to address what body issues abounds. So ask yourself those two questions. You may be surprised. And then again, It may be yours to ask.



Courtesy of my sister, Lela

Courtesy of my sister, Lela


Embrace the Suck - Military Slang For Living With What Is


Embrace the Suck - Military Slang For Living With What Is

"Embrace the suck": Translation: The situation is bad, but deal with it. Embrace the Suck: A Pocket Guide to Milspeak Copyright 2007 by Pamphleteer Press.

"Embrace the suck" is a phrase I have learned to love...I mean really love. While most think of bootcamp, pain, enforced suffering, and just, well, a "this sucks situation" I think of it as being awake. Alive. Awake. Alive and fully experiencing each moment as it comes. Living with what is.

To "embrace the suck" is a way of life. To me it means to experience everything fully and to dive into life - all of it.

In the article, Why Embracing The Suck Is the Key To Setting Yourself Free, Anthony Meindl is describes the term as a Buddhist concept. He compares the military personnel as having no choice in a given situation and so embracing the situation instead of denying them.

"The Armed Forces have no other choice. If they’re out in the Iraqi desert or in the mountains of Afghanistan, the only way they’re going to get through those challenging experiences is by embracing (rather than denying or ignoring) them.

But for us with our modern conveniences and propensity for denial, we can distract ourselves, numb ourselves, fool ourselves over and over to avoid, disconnect, ignore, postpone, procrastinate and put our heads in the sand when we don’t want to look at what is."

Read more:

Meindl continues by saying that by denying the "feelings of discontent" we actually prolong the suck. "So even though “the suck” sucks, the prolonging of it makes it even suckier. For longer. If you don’t square up and face your career discontent, you'll just prolong the agony.

So why do we do it?


In the long run we’d be much happier, expressive and creative if we rebooted our neural wiring and developed a different habit. But in the short-term, we’re willing to sacrifice our long-term goals and possibilities because the moment would require us to let go of habits that keep us stuck. The alternative is the unknown, which is scarier than “the suck,” so we just hang on to the old neural wiring."

Interesting. By not embracing the suck we prolong the suck and by denying the suck we prolong the suck. We get so used to the feeling of pushing away what we actually feel that we continue it. We space out into the world of drudgery and we prolong the suck. Meindl quotes David Whyte, a poet I adore, "Anything or anyone that does not bring you fully alive is too small for you."

Where are you playing small? Dig deep and embrace the suck because by embracing the suck, you'll begin to see where you need to rewire and change some habits that need changing. You may see that the suck is self-induced.





Fear and Cancer: The Big F and C


Fear and Cancer: The Big F and C

There is nothing that strikes fear into the heart and minds of us all but the word cancer. The Big C. It doesn’t matter if it is our diagnosis, that of a family member, a friend, a co-worker, an acquaintance, or even a pet, Fear. Fear. The Big F. The Big C and the Big F. And the two go hand in hand. When we hear someone has been diagnosed with cancer we think what if it is me. And if it is given to us, fear.


The physical sensations of fear are actually the same as anticipation of excitement.


Take the example of two people waiting in line for a rollercoaster.


One is super excited about getting closer to the station to onboard. Every time she sees the rollercoaster start up the hill she gets a rush. Her palms get a little sweaty, her heart rate increases and her stomach does a flip.


And what’s happening in her mind?


She is replaying all the times she had fun on a rollercoaster. She is reinforcing the physical sensation with an imprint of a story – a perception – a belief.


Now what about the other one?


She is getting more and more anxious as she gets closer in line. Her palms get sweaty, her heart races, her stomach does a flip. What’s different? She looks at the rollercoaster going up the hill and she thinks of all the stories of tragedies that she has heard of in which a rollercoaster has flipped off the track, stopped at the top stuck, or even worse someone plummeting to their death.


I know the scenario here because I get like that in line and my daughter is jumping up and down screeching how fun it’s going to be when we sit at the top teetering a bit back and forth and then the rush of the rapid descent. I know. What I didn’t know was that my physical sensation was the same as my daughter’s. What was different was the story I had attached to the sensation. And every time I felt that sensation neuropathways knew just what to do. Grab a fear package and add the story.


A horrible story.


No story?


Quick find one.


Imagination, do your job!


Create a scary story I can grab onto. And my mind will do it. The neuropathway will be reinforced. And every time I do this the groove will get a little deeper. Like a rut on the side of the road. The more rain, the more water. The more water flow, the deeper the groove. The deeper the groove, the faster you’ll get stuck and the longer you may stay.


It’s the same with perceptions, our personal beliefs.


Fear and cancer.


As I was writing this article I was thinking about Dr. Bruce Lipton and his work in Epigenetics. What is epigenetics? Bruce describes epigenetics as “the study of inherited changes in phenotype (appearance) or gene expression caused by mechanisms other than changes in the underlying DNA sequence.”


Dr. Lipton continues by stating that, “Medicine does miracles but its limited to trauma. The AMA protocol is to regard our physical body like a machine, in the same way that an auto mechanic regards a car. When the parts break, you replace them…The problem is that while they have an understanding that the mechanism isn’t working, they’re blaming the vehicle for what went wrong. They believe that the vehicles, in this case our bodies, is controlled by genes. But guess what? They don’t take into consideration that there’s actually a driver in that car. The new science, epigenetics, reveals that the vehicles – or the genes – aren’t responsible for the breakdown. It’s the driver.”


So what about cancer?


Dr. Lipton admits that, “It used to be that we thought a mutant gene caused cancer. But with epigenetics, all of that has changed.” He did an experiment which if you are interested, go to the website I referenced and you can read all about it. The gist of it is that he divided cells and placed them in varying environments. He concluded that if “cells are in a healthy environment, they are healthy. If they’re in an unhealthy environment, they get sick.” Then he took the results further.


With cancer, “Here’s the connection: with fifty trillion cells in your body, the human body is equivalent of a skin-covered petri dish. Moving your body from one environment to another alters the composition of the ‘culture medium’ the blood. The chemistry of the body’s culture medium determines the nature of the cell’s environment within you. The blood’s chemistry is largely impacted by the chemicals emitted from your brain. Brain chemistry adjusts the composition of the blood based on your perceptions on life. So this means that your perceptions of any given thing, at any given moment, can influence the brain chemistry, which in turn, affects the environment where your cells reside and control their fate. In other words, your thoughts and perceptions have a direct and overwhelmingly significant effect on cells.”



Wait what?


Yep! Bam!


Your perceptions of any given thing, at any given moment, can influence the brain chemistry, which, in turn, affects the environment where your cells reside and control their fate.


As an intuitive healer I know this. As a shamanista (modern day shaman) I work with changing perceptions. I coach. I have always known that my perceptions created my reality. What I didn’t know was that it was every time in every way.




Shamans, healers, and old fashioned witches…wise women and men…healers know this. Now science has caught up to us. My son, Redmayne, says that magic is just what scientists haven’t figured out yet.


Back to fear and cancer.


Dr. Lipton states that there are three factors that impact the fate of cells: toxins, trauma, and the mind. And all three connect with the onset of cancer. He claims, and I agree that, “gene activity can change on a daily basis…What this means is that your mind will adjust the body’s biology and behavior to fit with your beliefs. If you’ve been told you’ll die in six months and your mind believes it, you most likely will die in six months. It’s called the nocebo effect, the result of a negative thought, which is the opposite of the placebo effect, where healing is mediated by a positive thought.” If you want more about the nocebo effect, I write about it in my blog at


Change your thoughts, change your blood chemistry. Change your blood chemistry, change the cell. Change the cell, change the outcome.


Fear and cancer.


We have three parts in our minds: brain chemistry, the conscious, the unconscious/ subconscious which I believe connects to the superconscious…the universal mind.


And guess what?


The subconscious controls 95% of our lives.


In a report about the benefits of meditation as taught by people like Osho, it is explained again Dr. Lipton’s views. “…there are two separate minds that create what he calls the body’s controlling voice. There is a conscious mind that can think freely and create new ideas ‘out of the box’. Then there is the subconscious mind, which is basically a super computer loaded with a database of programmed behaviors, most of which we acquired before we reached the age of six.”

It further states that, “The subconscious mind cannot move outside its fixed programs – it automatically reacts to situations with its previously stored behavior responses. AND (here’s the rub), it works without the knowledge or control of the conscious mind. This is why we are generally unaware of our behavior, in fact most of the time we are not even aware that we are acting unconsciously…euro-scientists have shown that the conscious mind provides 5% or less of our cognitive (conscious) activity during the day – and 5% they say is for the more aware people, many people operate at just 1% consciousness.”

Wait, what?


Really? It’s like the walking dead. Maybe that’s what’s meant by humanity is awakening. We’re waking up from sleep walking during our day. And when you’re not sleep walking you’re looping and when you’re not looping you’re in fear…and looping that fear.

The article goes further. “Dr. Lipton also says that the unconscious mind operates at 40 million bits of data per second, whereas the conscious mind processes at only 40 bits per second. So the unconscious mind is MUCH more powerful than the conscious mind, and it is the unconscious mind which shapes how we live our life.”

There is hope. Breakthrough the fear and begin by taking the beliefs you have and distilling the stories that frame those beliefs. Most likely they are based on someone else’s view and if not they’re based on fear of what would happen if you didn’t see the world the way you do. We can heal. We can heal mind, body, and soul. And it all starts with waking up and being consciously aware of our thoughts. Breakthrough fear. Fear is a guide post to change. And change may be what we really fear because as we change, the world around us changes, our own reality changes and with that our lives.

Just as there are two minds there are two nervous systems: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The sympathetic is the nervous system that triggers fight or flight. It’s what triggers the ego/monkey mind. It accelerates the heart rate, constricts blood vessels, and increases blood pressure. The sympathetic nervous system responds to our beliefs. So if you believe you are in survival mode, you are. The sympathetic is activated. It is voluntary based on perceptional input. On the other hand, the parasympathetic nervous system is part of the involuntary nervous system and it slows the heart rate, opens blood vessels, and lowers blood pressure. This is where our healing and spiritual awareness comes in because it is automatic. The parasympathetic is considered the “rest and digest” or the “feed and breed” system. It works whether we focus in on it or not.


I went to Wikipedia to suss out how to explain it more cohesively.


So here goes:

“The sympathetic and parasympathetic divisions typically function in opposition to each other. This natural opposition is better understood as complementary in nature rather than antagonistic…The sympathetic division as the police responders and the parasympathetic division as the court system. The sympathetic division typically functions in actions requiring quick responses. The parasympathetic division functions with actions that do not require immediate reaction.”


Quick response, which to me means a reaction to stimuli, versus “actions that do not require immediate reaction,” – a response that is aware and does what it needs to do regardless. The parasympathetic nervous system is a cool cucumber. It’s aware and has a “I got this” attitude. I liken the sympathetic nervous system to the frazzled White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. Rushing, reacting, rushing more, reacting more.


And then it hit me. The belief filters the perception, creates the reaction, brings the ups and downs, reinforces the thoughts, deepens the groove for the looping creating the stress, bringing on the fear. Once your body gets used to that, the change of having a different outcome creates fear. Any change good or bad equals fear and our ego/ monkey mind loves the status quo and fears change. So it will insist that you stay in stress because it is a natural, normal state of being.


Back to the rollercoaster. I think of my daughter’s face when I’m in line and the fear sensations have turned to triggers of excitement and that excitement get stored as a story of love for my daughter, an experience worth repeating. I had to actively change the story and the beliefs underlying the sensations.


Where do you have a story that may need to be changed?


What belief do you have that may not be true?


How can you change it? (Hint: notice your body and the sensations in it. That action can be a life saver-mind, body, and soul.)


Our bodies don’t lie. Embrace, Release, Heal. These are the steps. Embrace, Release, Heal. And it all begins in awareness. Awareness of your body. Awareness of your stories. Awareness of your authenticity and own power.


Here are some book resources:


The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton (

“Human beings are multicellular organisms – we must inherently share basic behavioral patterns with our own cells…I know that it takes a shift in perception to acknowledge that parallel…When we observe other humans as individual entities or see ourselves in the mirror as an individual organism, in one sense, we are correct, at least from the perspective of our level of observation.”


Embrace, Release, Heal, Leigh Fortson (

“While the book expands the menu of choices available for alternative healing and holistic cancer treatments, it accepts and respects the relevance of both mainstream and outside-the-box cancer treatments.  Rather than dictate how you choose your cancer treatments, the book asks that you reclaim your authority and take responsibility for your own course of cancer healing.  Only then can you make empowered choices that are right for you. No matter what cancer treatment path you choose, you must honor it deeply.”


The Four Tenets of Love, Juliette Taylor-De Vries (me) (

“This book is about find your life’s path by breaking down the barriers between you and your passion and purpose to live a life you love. Filled with insight, inspiration, and easy-to-master techniques, my message is that you hold the power to create a world filled with opportunity, connection, and joy.”


Movement: A Practice for Your Body, Mind, and Soul


Movement: A Practice for Your Body, Mind, and Soul

Last week I talked about mindfulness as a daily practice of meditation to reduce stress and to open yourself up to possibilities and expanded awareness.

Mindfulness is the first M in the four M's, my cornerstones to thriving in your life.

Movement is the second M. Mindfulness meditation is about being completely present with what is, observing yourself as is, and noticing what is around you, inside of you, and what comes up for you.

The dictionary defines movement in two ways:

  1. The act of changing physical location or position, and
  2. A group of people working together to advance their shared political, social, or artistic ideas.

While mindfulness is about sitting in presence and being aware of what is, movement is about being aware of yourself while in motion.

And when I say "in motion" I'm talking about all movement:

The physical movement of the body;

The power of thoughts creating and changing reality;

The flow of emotion;

The passion of transforming ideas into purpose.

Movement is powerful. Studies show that just moving your body 30 minutes a day has a profound effect on your body. Imagine what effect moving your mind and soul has.


Meditation: A Daily Practice of Noticing


Meditation: A Daily Practice of Noticing

So often I hear, "I can't meditate....I don't have time...I can't sit still...I don't know how."

I heard once from the Dalai Lama that if you don't have time to meditate do it twice as long. The point being that it is that important.

Feeling busy? Meditate.

Stuck? Meditate.

Furious? Meditate.

Lonely? Meditate.

Afraid? Meditate.

The answer is in meditation. Meditation. The word itself can freak people out. It may imply sitting crosslegged at some ashram and chanting Om or Om, Shanti, Shanti, Om. It may imply buying a bunch of stuff that gets you prepared to meditate. A lot of people prepare to meditate. They go on retreats, take courses, join groups, take plants to induce a higher state of being, attach themselves to crystals, listen to music. All to prepare to meditate.

Ok. So now you're prepared. Meditate.

I'm going to change the language here and replace the word meditate with observe. And then walk you through it.

Sit with your feet comfortable either crosslegged or planted firmly on the ground or one leg up and one leg down. Doesn't matter. The point here is to have your back straight as an arrow and so if you need support, find a stiff chair or sit up against the wall. No stuff needed to purchase.

Then take off your glasses if you wear them and sit with your eyes closed or open. Again, doesn't matter the point here is to notice yourself not the visual aids around you. So now. Ta da! You are meditating. Focus on your body and you can start with your breath. Take a couple of deep cleansing breaths. This does two things. It clears your head and it primes your body to the meditative state. So the next time you take some deep cleansing breaths your body will say ok, we are meditating.

Breathe. Notice. Observe what you notice and breathe through it. You'll go down the rabbit hole. You'll think about the laundry. The bills. The bird chirping. Go back to your body. Go back to your breath. Everything you need in life is in-between your breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Notice your foot. Notice your ankle. Go up your leg and notice. Just notice. Notice your thoughts. Breath. Notice. Breathe. This is meditation. The practice is the bringing yourself back to you, to your breath. It's that simple. And in time it will be that easy. Do it. Do it now. And if you're it twice as long.


When Does A Breakthrough Feel Like a Breakdown? (Hint: always!)


When Does A Breakthrough Feel Like a Breakdown? (Hint: always!)

When does a breakthrough feel like a breakdown?


A breakthrough always feels like a breakdown. A breakthrough by definition means to break through something; to get to the other side of a challenge suddenly. And to get there you need to dismantle what ever is blocking you and that "what ever" is usually you.

Prior to a breakthrough, as in any scientist's quest for a needed discovery, there are moments of doubt, there's a knowing that something is missing...something you sense is right in front of you, and there is this urgent need to go back to the retrace your steps.

Ahh! Retracing your steps. Sounds like therapy. Well, no. Retracing your steps, if you look at yourself as a scientist would, is to take a look at the patterns, the hypotheses that got you where you are. And where you are is not where you want to be. (I'm urging you right now, yes, right now, to stop reading and pick up Dr. Seuss's book, Oh, The Places You'll Go. Because it's time to take note. It's time to see that right now in this space and time when you have this sensation, you're in (hint: not in the Slump) The Waiting Place.

The Waiting Place is the place of indecision.

The Waiting Place is the place of hesitation.

The Waiting Place is the place of shoulda, coulda, woulda.

The Waiting Place is the place of fear.

And as Dr. Seuss says so eloquently and yet so simply that even I can understand the first time round,

"...or a Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.


That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape

all that waiting and staying

you'll find the bright places

where Boom Bands are playing."

And that somehow is your very own breakthrough disguised as your very own breakdown. Only you can go there and only you can find you're way out. My hold your hand. xo, j

P.S. My son says that not every breakdown is a moment of breakthrough. I beg to differ. It only becomes defined as a breakdown when you decide not to step through and fear takes hold and you want to go back. Go back to where? The Waiting Place?


Freedom Is Not Free


Freedom Is Not Free

When the phrase was first coined by Air Force Colonel Walter Hitchcock it was an idiom, according to Wikipedia, "to express gratitude for the service of members of the military, implicitly stating that the freedoms enjoyed by many citizens in many democracies are only possible through the risks taken and sacrifices made by those in the military, drafted or not. The saying is often used to convey respect specifically to those who have given their lives in defense of freedom."

Freedom is not free. When I say that phrase to clients I mean that to be free requires work and that work requires sacrifices. A person doesn't wake up and say, "Hmmm. I want to be free today." That"hmm, I want to be free today", stems from irresponsibility and I would say even laziness. It's procrastination of not doing something that needs to get done. It's a rebellion against your own responsibility to your inner desire, passion, and purpose.

On the other hand, when you wake up to an unquenched desire to be on your path, to be following your passion and purpose on a daily basis and you look around and what you know is that it's not real, it's not your life. It's a fraud. You want to be free.

When you look in the mirror and know you can be more than what you show the world, you want to be free.

When you see yourself acting in ways that do not match who you are on the inside, you want to be free.

Replace free with authentic and you get the picture. And to be authentic is not a walk in the park. It requires you to be brutally honest about who you are right now, what you want, and what's actually behind what you want.

Freedom is not free. As my mother often says, "freedom has a price."

Are you willing to pay the price to be free?

If so, let's talk. xo, j


Let's Remember to LOVE


Let's Remember to LOVE

Let's remember to LOVE. This week I really couldn't get the shootings out of my head. One of the things that struck me most was that the internal terrorists were veterans having served in Iraq and Afghanistan. No excuse. I honor our police officers and I am horrified about what is happening right now. An attack on our law enforcement is an attack on America just as any other terrorist attack.


This ambush of police is tragic and horrific.


I want to scream at the top of my lungs that the commonality of the shootings at schools like the one at Sandy Hook, movie theaters like in Colorado, churches, drivers driving while Black, abortion clinics, gay clubs like the one in Orlando, office places like the one in San Bernardino, promenades in Nice, cafes in Paris, airports like the one in in Turkey, military recruitment centers like the ones in Tennessee, and police officers ambushed and killed in cities across America is...PTSB (this is not a typo I mean B not D). We can easily say it is the radicalized Muslim, the radical Right Winger, the Pro Life radical, the radical Neo Black Panther (with supposed ties to the Muslim Brotherhood), the paranoid-overly-trigger-happy police officer who's adrenaline is pumping (and who just knows this guy's a thug - and he may be). We keep talking about the religious affiliation, color, creed, and ideology.


We keep talking about the surface issues and I want to get down to the nitty gritty depths of this. 


And to me its LOVE, the ability to give and receive love unabashedly, without shame, and with full vulnerability. The very opposite of love is fear and baby, we're living in the midst of FEAR. This fear of The Other, of different, of as my dear friend says...of the "elephant in the room, the secrets," this fear is creating a mass PTS not D - for Disorder - but B - for Biofeedback reaction. I've decided it's B for biofeedback. Because what goes in goes out. It has to. So when you fill yourself with fear it comes out as fear. And the one thing the "lone shooter" has in common is that they are alone.


They are full of fear.


They are mentally unstable. They are all terrorists. They are outsiders looking in on society and with social media and video games they have found a home, a home where fear resides and barbarianism is admired.


The National Institute for Mental Health defines Biofeedback as a treatment technique in which people are trained to improve their health using signals from their own bodies. Physical therapists use biofeedback to help stroke victims regain movement in paralyzed muscles. Psychologists use it to help tense and anxious clients learn to relax. Specialists in many fields use biofeedback to help their patients cope with pain.


I believe that these folks have found their own biofeedback loop and that their personalized technique involves going back to their training. Soldiers will be soldiers, video gamers will take virtual reality and make it their reality, and those longing for the good ole days of the Deep South, their fantasy of what their childhood should have been like, their version of Mecca, Heaven, or Nirvana (come on we all know a few Vegan radicals, or holier-than-thou New Ager, right?) and they apply this personalized and highly individualized treatment program to alleviate the pain and to dive into the fear. Remember fear is a gateway, a guidepost to change and those who want things unchanged or changed back to the way it was will not breakthrough fear. Fear is their comfort zone. Fear is the fluffy down comforter. Fear is where the training comes back.


Post - Traumatic - Stress - Biofeedback


The problem and the solution. In every problem there lies the solution.


I know PTSB having lived through Hell and back with someone who for all intents and purposes looked and acted completely normal...until he didn't and became a human ticking time bomb, ready at any moment to blow up our lives. And he could. He was a highly trained combat warrior. He had had SEAL training, training where they drop you off somewhere in the middle of the woods with a compass and a knife and you work your way home. Tactical training. Cyber attack and warfare training. Surveillance training. How-to-kill-a-man-with-your-bare-hands training. SCUBA training. TOP GUN training. Train the trainer training.


So I ask you what happens when all that training turns in on yourself?


When you lose the balance what do you learn?


Go back to your training. Your muscles know what to do. Your neurons are primed and ready.


And what if the enemy now resides with you?


What if The Other is right here?


What if you no longer see reality and only see the training?


Bio - feed - back.


The lives we had built, the lives I was insisting on framing out the additions on even while the foundation was crumbling all around me was no longer a reality.




He went back to his training and I went back to mine. Fight and if you can't fight run. Run like a mother fucker and don't look back.


Light the torch and burn the place down.






Move on.


I know this state of the world and it is Mass Post Traumatic Stress Biofeedback and the treatment is in the constant reinforcement of the belief. There is something really opening up for right now and I am questioning and reevaluating everything I know and have as a vision.


I look clearly into my own life and I wonder:


I wonder if I'm doing enough, being enough, and acting in congruence with my beliefs.


I wonder if my beliefs are sound and if I would know it if they weren't.


And...I'm wondering if anyone else is wondering.


Ok. So now that I have released the elephant in the room. What are you wondering?

What I know is we need love and we have the capacity to give and receive love. So let's love each other and venture out from our comfort zones.


Prime: THE Key To Design Yourself And Your Life


Prime: THE Key To Design Yourself And Your Life

When I think about the word "prime" I think about luxury the best above the rest, the best grade of beef, and in mathematics the number that is divisible only by one and itself. When I think of prime in terms of a verb I think of getting ready to start some form of action.

Merriam-Webster defines Prime as

an adjective:

1. of first importance; main.

2. of the best possible quality; excellent.

3. of a number evenly divisible only by itself and one

as a noun:

1. a state or time of greatest strength, vigor, or success in a person's life.

2. a service forming part of the Divine Office, traditionally said (or chanted) at the first hour of the day (i.e. 6 a.m.)

3. a prime number

4. a symbol (') written after a letter or symbol as a distinguishing mark or after a figure as a symbol for minutes or feet.

5. the first of eight (first defensive- the "look at your watch" move) standard parrying positions.

6. short for prime rate

as a verb:

1. make something ready for use or action, in particular.

2. prepare (someone) for a situation or task, typically by supplying them with relevant information.

Prime is primo, the first, the most important, the essential, and the action to take the lead.

Prime is THE key to design yourself and your life.

Prime is the daily action you take to get your shit together instead of just talking about it.

Prime is the system you create and then follow to construct the you you wan in the life you want with the people you want.

Your life is a series of daily actions, non actions and thoughts that when expanded make up your life.

So what's your plan?

What's your step-by-step process that you intend to follow?

What's your vision for each and every facet of each and every part of your life?

What's your strategy?

Write it down.

Now look at your life.

Does it match?

I didn't think so.

If your life is filled with, "tomorrow I'll..."

If your life is filled with, "I wish I hadn't..."

If your life is filled with, "but..."

If your life is filled with, "you don't understand. I grew up with a..." or, "I don't have the skills, credential, credit, money, energy, connections, friends, family, house, car, furniture, lover, husband, wife, dog, cat..." You name it I've heard the excuses and the challenges and the traumas and all are valid. And if it is filled with any of that and even a little of that are designing your life to nowhere to the land of "I'm not good enough."

Prime requires you to take every moment of your day and commit to whether you want it in your life and you want more of it or you don't want it in your life and you want less of it.

Repel and attract. Every action and non-action repels and attracts. Your choice.

Prime. Work harder on yourself than you do for anything or anyone else. Prime. Make every choice a conscious choice.






Time to Chillax


Time to Chillax

We're all running around doing, doing, doing. And I'm wondering when we're going to get it and start being, being, being.

I was recently in Italy visiting my sister and my niece and nephew who live in Rome. And I realized something as I looked around me.

No Starbucks cups.

No looking down and texting.

No silence.

Lots of noise.

Lots of smells. Fresh and even not so fresh.

Sounds of life.

There were multiple conversations going on.

Eye contact everywhere.

And peeking into the corner cafes people were standing up and enjoying their coffees-they were in a rush. The ones seated were even more leisurely drinking and eating a bite. They were enjoying the present moment.

Yeah - I'm sure they have bills to pay, worries about family, vacations, jobs, houses, cars, wives, husbands, kids, lovers, ending or starting relationships.

They have shit going on just like us.

But at that moment.

At that very, very precious moment...

Life was about being...

Not doing.

So now I'm home and I'm taking an active role in the practice of being.

I'm here when I'm on the phone, not fumbling through papers or wondering what my life will look like five years down the road.

I'm making dinner and I'm thinking about each and every ingredient.

I'm driving - not driving and texting (admit it...we all do it even though every day someone dies doing it)

I'm here with my eyes looking at you when you speak.

I'm paying attention.

I'm here. And life...

is good. These moments of life are all good. Time to chillax.


Feng Sui: It's All About Environment


Feng Sui: It's All About Environment

Why is it that some places feel fabulous and some places make you want to jump up and get out?

This week has been a week of shifting environments. I was in North Carolina - home to my ancestors - and the land called to me. The land has been a part of my DNA since beofre the American Revolution. The land has had the blood of Revolutionaries, Slaves, Natives wanting to stay on what was God's country and the Klu Klux Klan driving hate spilled on it. The land has had the sweet sweat of native life and the anguished sweat of slaves of slaves dripped on it. The land has had the tears of those marched off to the West because land and people no longer mixed, tears of mothers and fathers whose children were hanged from trees and tears of children whose fathers and brothers were gunned down by War. The land has even had tears of joy of births and of weddings and of sheer pleasure both approved and secret. This land is my land. It really is. It is within me.

Now home. And I keep feeling something is wrong with my house. The energy is off. There are bad vibes. Not really bad just uncomfortable. I can't rest. 

I'm on the phone with my peer/dear friend, sister, and one of the first of the LifesPath Master coaches and we're talking about this and she says that the energy is coming from me. Inside is outside. Mirror work I think.

What's going on with this house. Does the inside match the outside? No this house is the house my parents would have loved when they were my age. All manicured and respectable.

Nothing wild here.

Rooms are what they are.

The dining room is just that the dining room and then we talk some more and she says. Why does that room have to be that way?

Joan starts to talk about Feng Sui and we go through the house virtually as she is in Washington. Water in the front. Bathroom and bedroom in the area of private sanctuary. My spiritual place. My retreat. Then back to the open office area and she sees what I can't. The room has all of its energy zapped by corners (poison arrows) and mixed messages. Office and chaise lounge. No. Transition room feeling stuck. Living room of family and prosperity too formal and in my world the dining room table and food are the center of family life. Dining room too cramped and dark and in the place of family time and quiet. We FaceTime and she sees it. A plant here to stop the corner from throwing darts at my desk. Switch the dining room and family room. A crystal, sheer curtain and or another plant to stop the energy from rushing out of my office. Bookcases behind me and a round rug to anchor my space.

She's good. I do most of it right then. And today. I feel anchored and have been working and writing all day. DNA/environment. Inside/outside. Past/present. Here/there. Now...all now and all about the vibes. Elevating the vibes of space so we can elevate our own vibes. xo, j


We Are The Masters of Our Lives


We Are The Masters of Our Lives

The Nocebo Effect. According to Bruce Lipton while the Placebo Effect is very apparent that belief in something working works the counter part, the Nocebo Effect is not studied but is as apparent in that negative beliefs have desperately negative effects on the body.

Environment, aka thoughts, provoke gene expression.

What you believe becomes your truth and your truth shows up in your body.

Our bodies don't lie.

What we think and what we believe is truth is written all over our bodies.


That's powerful. We can control our genetics through our the lives we lead, our daily lifestyle, our beliefs, and our emotions. We have power over our biology. We are not the victims of our genes. We are the masters of our lives. ~Bruce Lipton

In 2000 I had breast tissue removed from both breast and replaced the tissue with breast implants (just like Angelina Jolie did a couple of years ago). I was sure that since my aunt had a double mastectomy and I had the genetic disposition for both breast cancer and colon cancer this was my only recourse. I now know differently. It wasn't the gene that expressed itself, it was my stressed out lifestyle that expressed it.

Bow down to the Om!

And when I say that I'm not saying sit there and zen out. I'm saying life present. Feel everything consciously and if you want to express anger express it. If you want to express sorrow express it. And if you want to express happiness express it. We are wired to express our lives fully at all times and we are meant to look at at our beliefs and shift those that no longer work for us.

Here's the truth:

Life is all expression good, bad, ugly,'s all expression. And we are the masters not the victims. So flip whatever or wherever you see yourself as a victim.




Brains and Guts: It's What We Are


Brains and Guts: It's What We Are

The gut plays an important role in mental health. It's what we know now. The key to this combination of brains and guts is the microbiome.

"...Only in the past decade have scientists recognized that a vast array of bacteria, collectively known as the microbiome, inhabits our gut and serves as an important organ of the body. Billions of those bacteria, called probiotics, do good. They stimulate the development and function of the immune system, combat growth of harmful micro-organisms, aid in the process of digestion, even promote healthy body weight. But probably the most unlikely discovery has been that, in ways still under study, the gut plays an important role in mental health. "You can't have a healthy brain without a healthy gut." says psychiatrist Ted Dinan of Ireland's University College Cork." (Going With The Gut, Psychology Today Aug. 2016)

So it's all about the diet.

The diet feeds the force of the microbiome which in turn feeds the body what it needs and then raises the vibration.

Food is vibration.

Living food raises your vibration and dead food lowers it.

How do you know what food is dead or alive??

The alkali content.

Full circle.

We go full circle from the womb bathed in alkali water to the food which can bathe us in energy or destroy us by unlocking the genetic codes that predispose us to dis-ease! And as my boyfriend from my twenties, a die hard surfer in the OC, used to say, "It's all about the vibes, baby! All about the vibes."

It's all about the vibes. The vibes are our environment. Nature versus nurture. The DNA, while it may hold the genetic codes of diseases are only unlocked when triggered. And what triggers the unlocking of the code...Environment.

Nature Nurtures.

Nurture Nature.

The human diet can either nurture or hinder. It is not a neutral. And the best component of the human diet to aid in the strengthening and blossoming of the microbiome is the "prebiotic - nondigestible carbohydrates, otherwise known as fiber. All prebiotics are fiber but nat all fiber is prebiotic-only those complex carbohydrates that resist digestive enzymes but lend themselves to fermentation by bacteria in the large intestine." (Going With The Gut, Psychology Today Aug. 2016)

If brains and guts are what we are the driving force is the microbiome and the microbiome loves to work on plants, roots, and anything grasslike. Prebiotics are where its at.

So the closer we can get to the source in our diets the better we feel and the longer we live happier.




Insight and Its Power in Transforming Education


Insight and Its Power in Transforming Education

Insight: (common definition) The capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing. 

In-Sight: (my definition) The ability to look inward and see the world as a reflection of ourselves and act in accordance.

Imagine what would happen if insight were fostered in the educational system from the very first day.

Insight, In-Sight. inSight.

Just imagine.

Imagine if insight were a part of the foundational structure of the educational system. It's time to disrupt the archaic systems in place. Education. Food. Government. Banking.

Sound scary?

Maybe. But it doesn't have to be.

In tech circles we hear the term disruption as par for the course in transformation and renewal of systems that aren't working. Uber, Betterment, Twitter, FaceBook are just some new and now old disruptors to the systems that weren't working as efficiently or as socially "open-sourced" as possible.

Back to education. Where are the disruptors? You have Kumon the online tutoring program and others like it and then there are schools around the country doing amazing things. Take the Harlem Children's Zone, a school that "has achieved unprecedented success, helping thousands of children and families and disrupting the cycle of generational poverty in Central Harlem."

This is a school that has disrupted the cycle of poverty and created a pipeline of success from early childhood through college. Their mantra is that "In order to achieve long-term success, children need consistent, comprehensive support. Our pipeline begins at birth and helps kids every step of the way until college graduation through exceptional education, social services, family support, health, and community-building programs. By continuously assessing the progress of our youth, we can leverage the power of our pipeline to fine-tune our programs and ensure that we are fully addressing the needs of every child, at every age." 

The notion of following a child from early childhood into college with wrap around services and a all-embracing holistic approach is not new. Rudolf Steiner developed what has become known as the Waldorf education process. "The structure of Waldorf education follows Steiner's theory of child development dividing childhood into three developmental stages, and describes learning strategies appropriate to each stage...The stated purpose of this approach is to awaken the "physical, behavioral, emotional, cognitive, social, and spiritual" aspects of each individual, fostering creative as well as analytic thinking."

I have seen this innovative and I dare say disruptor in the educational system first hand. This week I was at the Waldorf School of San Diego. And it was beyond amazing!

"Where is the book in which the teacher can read about what teaching is? The children themselves are this book. We should not learn to teach out of any book other than the one lying open before us and consisting of the children themselves." ~ Rudolf Steiner, Human Values in Education



Delicious Nourishing Food - A Revolution Waiting to Unfold


Delicious Nourishing Food - A Revolution Waiting to Unfold

I'm reading Hopes Edge and in it Lappe talks about the experimental diet and how it's aversion to natural, locally grown food is actually killing us.

She states: "This high-sugar, high-fat diet also bears no resemblance to the unprocessed, plant-centered diet of our evolving ancestors, in which meat, fat, and simple carbohydrates, like sugar, played minor roles. The modern diet is the greatest experiment ever attempted on human beings, and we, the guinea pigs, aren't faring very well!"

We, especially, Americans have removed ourselves form delicious nourishing food. The notion of eating locally and eating seasonally and eating as close to the source is escaping us. We run from one fast food restaurant to another and even when we go out to eat or go to the grocery store - if we want local, fresh, and delicious. It costs a small fortune.

I've been thinking about this for a long time. I worked as the COO of Wholesome Wave and was instrumental in ensuring that underserved communities and those who were unable to afford local and fresh could. We created two programs the Double Value Coupon and the Fruit & Veggie Prescription Programs. Both were developed to facilitate the ability of someone on assistance to be able to use their SNAP dollars at a farmers market and that when they used them at the farmers markets they received double the value. The second program was one in which a doctor could prescribe fruits and vegetables and the prescription was again redeemable at the famers markets. During that time I realized that there was something called food deserts, places where people lived away from any access to fresh food.

Imagine that. No seriously, stop reading for a minute and imagine being somewhere where you have no access to fresh, where you can only buy your groceries at a gas station or local liquor store. And that when you do you are paying a dollar for a banana. Imagine? Here in America? Yes. Right here, right now, there are people who cannot purchase fresh even if they wanted to. Right here, right now the only option may be soda, chips, bottled water at $2, processed meats or McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Chicken. Wow.

This week I was in Italy and I drove by a McDonald's and it was a gorgeous stone and glass building and it was completely empty save for some really fat tourists. We are fat because we eat the wrong foods not because we eat too much. I ate more than I do in a couple of days every day and as unusual when I jumped on the scale when I got home I was five pounds lighter.

Something smells in Denmark as they say. I look around and it really clicked. We have a market-based economy with shareholders instead of stakeholders where the only god is profit not health. Food has become a part of the free market enterprise and the cheapest stuff to push out is corn and soy and preferably GMO.

In Rome every day people are eating better than even some of wealthy here. We may make more but we spend more on food than they do and the food we get has typically travelled across the country, been sprayed, injected, or genetically modified. We eat out of boxes, both individual food boxes and the chain food/ grocery big boxes. Its boxes and boxes of complete crap.

To top it off we, here, eat to live while there they live to eat. One sits at a cafe and has a coffee with a croissant which the cafe owner and his wife have carefully either prepared or chosen. There are no to go cups, no drive throughs, and no rushed gulps. It is a part of life. A sacred moment. One worth that moment. It's slow and it's real. Each moment stacked on top of another sacred stacked upon sacred. Life is enjoyed not rushed through.

In Hope's Edge the author quotes a poem and I will too to underscore the value of nature and all her bounty:

"The tree that moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes

Of others only a green thing that stands in the way.


Some see nature all ridicule & deformity...

& some scarce see nature at all.


But to the eyes of the man of imagination.

Nature is imagination itself.


As man is so he sees." ~ William Blake


Lappe includes Five Liberating Ideas Helping Us Find Our Way

and they have become my mantra:

"One: Scrapping The Scarcity Scare, Realizing Abundance

Cutting through the scarcity illusion, we're able to see potential abundance all around us, even in what is now waste. We realize that growing food in ways that sustain the earth and people is not only productive but linked to the change essential to slowing population growth.

Two: Laughing At The Caricature, Listening To Ourselves

Now we can see that the image of ourselves as merely selfish materialists is but a shabby caricature of our true nature. we would never have survived as a species if it weren't for our need - and our capacity - for effectiveness and connection.

Three: Putting Tools In Their Place, Tapping The Savvy of Citizens

Now we can turn technologies - even the market itself - into tools, not tyrants. Scientific tools can help us - but only when citizens draw values' boundaries for their application.

Four: Discarding Dissections, Solving The Pattern

Now breakthroughs in science and technology allow us to perceive the interrelatedness of diverse problems and their solutions. We have the tools to build on nature's genius and tap the best of ancient wisdom. We can also see more clearly the power in the ripples our own choices make in solving the world's problems.

Five: Busting Free From 'ISMS," Creating The Path As We Walk

Now it's clear that global corporate capitalism - economic life cut off from community life - is not inevitable, not fixed, nor the best we can do. Millions are letting go of all 'isms' - ideologies with one unchanging endpoint. They're re-embedding the market in values respecting nature, culture, and themselves."




Online Community - A One Way Street?


Online Community - A One Way Street?

Community: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

Online community: a virtual community whose members interact with each other primarily via the Internet. For many, online communities may feel like home, consisting of a “family of invisible friends."

Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.

The words in common here are sharing, interacting, bonding. But is that what's happening online?

More and more I am seeing that the online "community" is a place where voices can shout, trolls can bully and badger, and the feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and otherness has the potential to blossom like a festering infected wound.

As many of you may know over the past two years I closed my online accounts and wrote about it. What was it that made me want to shut it all down?

It was a feeling that the communication was one way, that similar to being watched by a Peeping Tom I was being undressed, analyzed, criticized, approved or disapproved. Liked, loved, or indifferent. How many likes? Depended on the caption, content, day, photo, mood of the one watching.

In my Art History classes I studied the notion of the spectator. Who was the viewer? What thoughts were presented visually to the viewer by the artist and what role did the subject have in this viewing moment.

Had I become like one of the tribes in the Amazon that believe that a photograph steals the soul?

The Kayapo people of Peru have this belief. Actually in my research I came to understand that it was not a belief it was a knowing. A knowing based on language. Wow! The power of language.

According to a photographer who travelled deep into their world and wrote about it, "Kayapo, “akaron kaba” not only means “to take a photo” also means “to steal a soul.”

Yes. the world of online community to me steals the soul and steals time and makes it so very difficult to allow oneself to outgrow old beliefs, old stories, and old viewpoints. To me humans are wired to share, interact, and bond and to do that we need all our senses involved - all six.


The Past Is Not Lost


The Past Is Not Lost

The past is not lost. The past is a hologram as The Holographic Universe states"...(it) still exists in some form accessible to human perception. Our normal view of the universe makes no allowance for such a state of affairs, but the holographic model does. Bohm's notion that the flow of time is the product of a constant series of unfoldings and enfoldings suggests that as the present enfolds and becomes a part of the past, it does not cease to exist, but simply returns to the cosmic storehouse of the implicate."

I believe this to be true. The present becomes part of the past and is stored in a cosmic storehouse which is what people sometimes refer to as the Akashic records. This information is held in every cell of your body, in every rock, and in every place. A piece of you is held with all those places, things, and cells of you. And once we strengthen our insight enough, we, each and every one of us can access it.

Here's a little story of how I realized this glimpse of the past was contained in the present. I was in Rome visiting my sister and decided to play tourist for the day. I wanted to go to the Colosseum. As we were waiting in line I felt a little dizzy as the smell of wild cat was super strong. Nobody else could smell it. Then when we got inside or outside to the internal area I looked down into the arena and all of a sudden I wanted to throw up. I could see the crowds yelling and there was a group of people in the middle huddled together. I could feel their terror and then I saw the lions and smelled the smell. It was totally what I had smelled in line. I held onto the side of the brick wall and at that moment entered a completely different scene of what looked like gladiators and more yelling and screaming all around me. While I could feel the ground I was on and the brick in my hand and I could hear my sister talking, I was not in the present. I was in the past. In fact I was in two separate pasts - each more freaky and terrifying than the other. I kind of snapped out of it long enough to tell my sister with tears in my eyes that I simply had to leave right at that moment. I couldn't take it anymore. I was in a 3-D viewer of the past and yet I was here.

Ever go to a place that just doesn't feel right? Ever see pictures or stories of people in the past in these places. This is the hologram in which we live. Past, present, future all jumbled up together ready to be pulled forward by a vibrational force, frequency, or amplitude. It's like each person is there very own satellite dish.

Back to this unfolding and enfolding - if this is true - and I know it is recalling certain memories/stories we have can be altered, which when altered through intentional thought can be released changed and given a new vibration. And if this unfolding and enfolding is continuous grabbing on to one of those stories, shifting them even the slightest bit can have a magnificent effects on your present and thereby in your future which then affects the present and then the past. And on and on and on.

And if this unfolding and enfolding is true - the experiences we believe are true and solid can be manipulated and shifted and released. We are the masters of our stories past, present, and future.