The other day I got an email from someone who wanted a life coach. He went on and on about how he needed someone to help guide him forward. Perfect. That’s what I do.

 

And then there was a twist. He wanted to become a “sissy boy.” Not being up on the latest jargon of sexual preferences I looked it up. Ok, I thought, so he wants to be more feminine and wear women’s clothes. Fine by me.

 

I told him that whatever he truly wanted to be I would be happy to guide him. I told him that my goal is that every person have the boldness to live out their authentic selves. Great!

 

Here’s my fee and let me send you a contract.

 

Then I got the email of specifically what he wanted me to do over the phone. I’m not going to put in the details but let’s just say it got pretty graphic pretty quickly. So I wrote back that nothing shocked me and that I would not be telling him to do anything. What I would be doing was holding him accountable and encouraging him to do what was true for him and if that meant…whatever…I’m not here to judge. Living life authentically is the goal. I ended by saying that I wasn’t interested in going back and forth and that if he wanted my type of services he needed to let me know by 7 that evening.

 

Ok. Goddess! was his response.

 

And then it hit me. He wasn’t looking for a life coach he was looking for a good old-fashioned dominatrix.

 

It was about four o’clock in the afternoon so I had some time to think about a response and to think about whether I could actually be a life coaching dominatrix. Don’t laugh! I was seriously considering the options for a split second I imagined what the hour long conversations would be like and the more I thought about it the more I realized it wasn’t part of my paradigm. Actual content of an imaginary conversation aside, my comfort level was not there. Not because of the content but because of the format. Coaching is co-creating; it's not a sado-masochist relationship, literally or figuratively. Coaching is about guiding and opening to the truth and the way I do it is not with a whip and stiletto heals, its with a wand and flip flops.

 

Could a dominatrix and a life coach coexist? Possibly, but not in me.

 

I looked up the definitions of both. Merriam-Webster defines a dominatrix as a woman who physically or psychologically dominates her partner in a sadomasochistic encounter; a dominating woman. And defines a life coach as an advisor who helps people make decisions, set and reach goals, or deal with problems.

 

At around 6:30 pm. He wrote back that after spending the afternoon thinking about what he wanted and what I offered he decided he wanted a dominatrix not a life coach. I told him that he was right on track and good luck!

 

I had coaching him to where he wanted to go and my life as a life-coaching dominatrix was officially over.

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